Some of you may have already read my previous post "Top 5 Things I Want my Daughter to Know". Well I also have a son. Raising a son on my own is a challenge I had never prepared myself for. While I feel like I understand the challenges and maybe even the feelings that await my daughter as she grows, raising a man is a mystery to me. I come from a family of all girls and I even only witnessed one male cousin grow into manhood. It may be a learning experience, but this is where I start. As my cuddly little boy turns into a man, these are the most important things I want him to take with him.
To my son:
As you grow, these are the top 5 things I'd like you to take with you. I may not always be able to express myself this clearly so please use this as your guide when words escape me.
5. The true meaning of strength.
Everyone wants their son to be strong, but what does strong really mean? I don't care how much weight you can bench or if you can 'take' the biggest guy in the bar. Strength sometimes means having enough control over yourself to not get involved in a fight that will not do anyone any good. It also means being strong enough to defend someone who cannot defend themselves. It can take a lot of strength to be true to your values amongst peers who are not. The strength of your character far outweighs the strength of yours fists.
4. Respect is not earned - it is simply given.
Respecting others is not a choice. It has nothing to do with what they do for a living, how old they are, how much money they have, what they look like or even if you know them. It has to do with the fact that they are a human being just like you. They are deserving or respect just like you are, and you will treat them as such. Treating others with respect says nothing about them but everything about you. Don't be phased if they do not reciprocate, that is their problem and has no effect on you.
3. There is no shame in being a Mama's Boy.
Maybe I am biased, maybe I dread the day when you no longer what to throw your arms around me every time your eyes meet mine - but loving your mother is not a bad thing. I am the first woman you have ever loved but I know I won't be the last. Showing that you care about the important people in your life will lead to more enriched relationships. Showing love for your mother will help you to become a better son, husband and father - and I believe a better person.
2. Chivalry is not dead.
I hope that chivalry is not dead because I hope it will still live within you. I'm going to tell you a little secret about your mommy. When I was younger and thinking about the type of guy I would want to be with, I said I wanted to be with a gentleman. It may seem old fashioned, but I wanted someone to treat me differently than he treated his friends, and I suspect that many girls think the same way. Hold open doors, watch your language, offer her your coat with she is cold. She will appreciate it and it will set you apart from many men in today's world. Girls do not need "saving" as the term chivalry would imply. They are perfectly capable of holding their own, making their own choices, and being responsible for their own feelings. I am in no way suggesting that you try to do all of those things for her. You should simply honour her and treat her with honour.
1. I love you.
This one is the same for both you and your sister. I love you with all of my heart. I will love you when you are to embarrassed to kiss me in the school yard. I will love you no matter the type of man you turn out to be. I will always be proud to call you my son. Take these words and do with them whatever you please. Take risks, make mistakes, live, laugh and learn, all the while knowing in the back of your mind that I love you.
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